Honestly, I think good relationships are harder than bad ones. I don’t mean cultivating them, obviously that’s harder, but I mean actually dealing with them day to day. When I get upset or irritated at my spouse, it’s a “but yet” type of thought: “Well, I do feel a little ignored since that video game came out, but yet, he does make sure I eat when I go on 9 hour coding binges…” When I was in a shitty relationship, it was more an “and also” thought: “Well, I do feel a little unappreciated since he cheated on me, and also he ate all my goddamned Doritos.”